Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
