you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize