Will you blow on my dice?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
