My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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