Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have tasted many bathrooms
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
