I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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