yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
