I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
