the condom got lost in my hair
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this will be a night to untag.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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