In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
