Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize