honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Randomize
