Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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