You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
