I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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