I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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