it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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