My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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