Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize