i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
