Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
