I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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