so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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