is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I had to cum in my sink.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
