he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
