i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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