dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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