is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
