today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
