God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
