Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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