Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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