i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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