She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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