This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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