All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
