you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
