I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
