What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
