She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
