btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
