dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
