6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
