i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
