I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
