i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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