Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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