He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
