I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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