I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
