You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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