There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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