i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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