She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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