so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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