You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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