we made out on top of his cat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
