What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
