So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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