Little spoons don't ask big questions
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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